In my journey to forgiveness I work daily through my thoughts and feeling to forgive my mother. Forgiveness is a part of our spiritual health. Whether we choose to forgive someone or not it is only going to affect how we feel about ourselves. Forgiving the person does not have an effect on the person that may have wronged us. I am trying to find a way to forgive my mother for the murder of my father.

On October 12, 1983,  I was 18 months old, my mother planed to have my father murdered. She paid one of her best friends boyfriends to do the task. He shot my father at point blank in the head while he was sleeping with a 22 gauge shotgun. Richard then put my fathers body in my fathers company work truck and drove out to a country road left the van there and doused it with gasoline and lit the van on fire. While this was going on my mother was at home with her mom and they proceeded to clean up the bed room and try to get rid of all evidence. Several days later the cops figured out what happened and arrested my mother where in turn she made a plea bargain. She was to testify against Richard Luna in return she would get a reduced sentence and they would not bring charges against her mom for helping. She was then sentenced , she had to serve 12 years.  She was released from prison my  freshman year my high school. When released she did not have to much to deal with me. Her excuse was she did not know how to be a mother and it was awkward for her. She met a gentleman and they began a relationship. Come to find out his daughter was a friend of mine at school. This friend would come to school talking about how she had so much fun over the weekend and what all they did as a family. They have been together since.

This is how my paternal grandparents gained custody of me. My grandfather was the household father figure from the time I was 18 months old till when I moved out. He battled his own demons raising me. I am sure that was hard, trying to cope with your sons murder and try to raise his child as your own. He drank constantly and was very distant. He was not one to show “love”.

I am still trying 39 years later to be a good person and not hold peoples actions against them.

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